Aquí Estoy

        Aquí estoy… here I am! Those two words always make me smirk a little, because in every new place that I’ve ever been to, “aquí estoy” seems sneak into the beginning of every video that my friends and I take to document the experience. It’s almost like I can’t quite believe where I am or what is happening around me, and telling myself “I am actually here” makes the experience more real.

        So now, HERE I AM, IN BALFATE, COLÓN, HONDURAS. You have no idea how many times I’ve had to tell myself that in the past three weeks. I have to constantly remind myself that this is real… that I’m here. This is my new home for nearly the next year. So I have to be fully present here. I have to embrace or at least accept all of it, both the exhilarating and the challenging. It amazes me to think that coming to learn and serve in Honduras has been a dream of mine for at least the past two years, and now God has actually brought me here. I praise Him and thank you all for the prayers and the support! I wouldn’t be working here without it. However, when you pray for something and dream about it for so long, you build up certain expectations about what it would be like, and as I am learning yet again, things never go according to our perfect plans and expectations. For me, Honduras is both what I hoped for and so completely different. It is both wonderful and oh-so-difficult.
        Let me try to break it down for you, and really for me, because I need some help processing everything that has been happening as well! That reminds me… I apologize to those of you who were hoping for an update earlier than three weeks in. I tried to write several times, but found that I didn’t know how to explain life here to others when I couldn’t wrap my head around it myself. So here we go, let’s see if I can bring you along on this journey with me now!

*If you are in a rush and don’t have time to read this book that I wrote, then skip down to the bottom to the summary version ;)

My Job

Dilcia, Genesis, Normita

Helping out with the kids and doing occupational therapy has already been both a huge blessing and a real struggle. It’s such a treat being around kids and teens who have been through so much horrific trauma and heartache and yet are thriving. They are charming and way too much fun. You would never guess that had been through so much hardship. God really is changing so many lives here! I’ll tell more specific stories in a later blog.

Renán

As for what I’m doing though… I spent the first week or so just getting to know the kids and the needs and schedules of the kids I will be working with 1-on-1. My buddy Renán is who I work with the most, from 2pm to 7pm Mon-Fri. He is a handsome little 6-year-old with a mischievous character and autism. My biggest project right now is developing and implementing a communication system that he can use. I am in the process of building a communication board system in Spanish. This week, I am starting to work several extra hours with Cindy, Miguelito, and later Isaac. Cindy is 13 and has cerebral palsy and developmental delays, Miguelito is 3 and was severely malnourished and consequentially developmentally delayed, and Isaac is 5 and has a speech impediment. It is exciting to be a part of their lives in such a big way, but the pressures of designing programs and therapies to meet their needs is extremely intimidating. Working alone and without the usual therapy devices that I usually have at my disposal is especially hard. Iain (the co-director of the center) has told me that there is no pressure to see immediate miraculous results, but I still really want to make a difference here and be part of the work God is doing with these kids. I need to be useful, so the pressure remains. Also, I am not an occupational therapist! Not yet. I have had a lot of experience that I am so grateful for, but I have so much to learn yet. It’s very intimidating having my own “patients” and being the only one to call the shots. Yet, it is an amazing opportunity, and as nerve-wracking as it is, it is even more exciting. This past week, after days of practice and bags of dry cereal for motivation, Renán learned to use a hand signal to say “yes”! It might seem insignificant, but this is really the first form of direct communication he has ever had. I’m ecstatic! Thank GodJ

The Food

Eating langosta y machuca

            Let’s be honest, Honduras is probably going to make me fat. Unfortunately people don’t eat vegetables here, and drinking coke is a daily occurrence. So, say a little prayer for me that I will be able to find vegetables and stay healthy! Ugh, the food is so delicious though. Fresh baleadas, sopa de camarones, sweet tamalitos, tamarindo juice, plátanos fritos, hot corn tortillas, exotic fruits that I won’t try to spell, horchata, pastelitos, tres leches cake, langosta (lobster) with machuca… I could go on for pages and pages. And I will, in a future blog ;)

 Small Town Life in Rural Honduras

Aquí todo es tranquilo. Life is peaceful here. Life is sloooooww. Sometimes I really appreciate this gentle pace of life. There is no rush, no pressure to be productive or entertained at every moment. Not all kids have to have iphones and gadgets or TV and constant after-school activities to keep them happy. Instead they make up ingenious games with sticks and rocks, and the older ones play pick-up soccer games every day. There is a beautiful contentment with simple life: sitting in a hammock watching the waves for hours, going out to “pasear” (basically walking around with no destination whatsoever), or sitting around the table with family friends in silence to just enjoy one another’s company. 

At the same time though, small town life here is a struggle for a North American girl who is used to the time-constricting pressures of juggling college, work, family and friends. I like to be busy and active, living life to the fullest. Here in Lucinda/Balfate life is so different. I sometimes feel really isolated and lonely. There is not a lot of news of the outside world, no restaurants, coffee shops or stores of any kind besides little snack stands called pulperías. No parks, entertainment centers, libraries, etc. Going out with friends on a Friday night consists of maybe walking to the beach or watching a movie while drinking coke. When you think about it though, who can complain about spending a Friday night on the Caribbean ocean? I think this experience will teach me to actively slow down and realize that taking time to think, contemplate and just appreciate God’s blessings is also living life to the fullest. 

Ocean and Jungle

I LIVE ON THE CARIBBEAN OCEAN. Literally, I am a half-mile from soft sandy beaches, warm salty waves, and brilliant sunsets unlike any you have never seen in your life. The beach is my happy place where I go to cool off, to relax in a hammock, to toss the kiddos around in the waves, to play soccer (it’s despicable to see how much better the Hondurans are at fútbol than I am), and to play games around bonfires. I simply walk down the dusty road, through a small strip of palm trees and jungle, and there I am.

Ah yes, and the jungle. This is one of those things I really didn’t expect. This truly is the jungle! When I look out my window I see tropical plants and vines, huge trees heavy with fruit that I’ve never seen before, strange beautiful birds in a myriad of colors, and cute annoying monkeys that chatter to wake me up at 4:00 every morning and scream to make my friend, Anna, run for her life. Then of course there are the multitudes of mosquitos (mostly just at dusk and night), spiders so big I don’t dare step on them, scorpions, and stupid little squishy geckos. All in all though, this is a gorgeous place.

Playa de Río Esteban

Anna and Nino walking through Lucinda

The Climate

HOT! So stinkin’ hot. Sticky hot, dripping-sweat hot, take-three-showers-a-day hot, please-don’t-give-me-a-hug hot. I blame the humidity. My skin never feels completely dry here. Somehow though, the Hondurans’ skin never seems to glisten like mine does. Their bodies seem to be more acclimated to this kind of heat, which gives me a little hope that I too will survive.J Actually though, I am thankful to say that I am starting to get used to it. The first week I was here, fresh out of the Michigan snow, the heat made me so upset and uncomfortable. Now I notice it less and less. Yet, I have to say that I still look forward to the rainy days and the time of the day when the sun hides behind the trees. Rainy season was just ending when I arrived, and now we are cruising into the summer months. We will see how it goes.J

There is so much more I could write, but neither you nor I have the time for that! So to summarize:   * Things are wonderful here. Things are difficult here. My kids are learning. I am learning. We are blessed. Thanks for your support! Please pray for me. PRAISE GOD! Aquí estoy.